


East Northumberland High

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-03
Updated: 2009-07-03
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12411720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Comedy, drama and bewilderment unfolds as the Marauders, Lily and her friends spend 1/2 the year at a muggle high school! Sorry, I'll think of a better summary later. =D





	East Northumberland High

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

I’d like to dedicate this story to  _Sophie_ who helped with the plot idea ( _helped_ , ok?) and her annoying egos. *cough* narcissistic *cough* _What_? I said nothing! _Nothing_!  
Oh and kudos to her for her _fantabulous_ services Betaing this! Love ya, darlin’.

Also, a chunk of the dedication has to go to  _Laura_. She is happily praising of my bits and bobs what I scribble on my art and I think she’ll love this too.

 

“Hold on, _you’re_ Head Boy?”  
  
James nodded, swollen with pride. “Yep.”  
  
“Er – how, I mean, h...how did – erm, _how_?” Remus gawked as if James had skipped up Platform 9 ¾ wearing bright cherry denim thongs on his head.  
  
The high and mighty grin vanished and a narked pout clouded his visage. “Why is _everyone_ saying that?” He demanded.  
  
“It’s just –” Remus shook his head of ashen tresses, crushing his lips to hinder the budding fit of sniggers. “It’s you.”  
  
“Yes, Prongs.” Sirius chipped in, a buoyant glimmer in his eye. “It’s _you_.”  
  
James’ perplexed frown was too much.  
  
They laughed. And laughed. And laughed.  
  
 “What? _What_ is so funny?” James said, impatience palpable in his voice.  
  
“I’m – I’m sorry...Prongs.” Remus choked, his chest still heaving feebly with raw glee. “But – you, Head Boy is...so fucking funny!”  
  
James sniffed, crossly. “You’re jealous, Moony.”  
  
This only made him and Sirius howl harder.  
  
James sighed. “Why am I still friends with you lot?”  
  
Sirius regained his breath and clapped an arm around James’ shoulders. “So...who do you think the Head Girl’ll be?”  
  
“Well, we all know who you hope it’ll be.” Remus grinned, boldly.  
  
James’ cheeks reddened and he mumbled, incoherently.  
  
“I’m sorry, what was that?” Sirius asked, sticking his finger in his ear and twiddling it around. “You should really speak up, mate.”  
  
James garbled again.  
  
Sirius seemed to relish his friend’s discomfort. “Nope, didn’t catch that Prongs.”  
  
“I said, I don’t fancy her!” James said, loudly.  
  
“Oh, I see.” Remus’ eyes twinkled in amusement. “So – that’s why you’ve been chasing her like mad for the past 6 years, is it?”  
  
James glared. “I swear I am going to eat you for breakfast one day, Moony.”  
  
“I personally think you should get over it, mate.” Sirius declared, shaking his black, shaggy curls.  
  
“That, Padfoot, is because you’re _you_.” James rolled his eyes again.  
  
“Oy! What’s wrong with being me?”  
  
“Plenty.”  
  
“I resent that.”  
  
James groaned. “ _Why_ am I still friends with you, Padfoot?”  
  
“I’m so brilliant you couldn’t live without me.” He grinned, not missing a beat.  
  
James raised his eyebrows. “I give up.”  
  
“Speak of the Devil.” Remus nodded in the direction of a redhaired girl crossing the station, to her cluster of friends.  
  
James stared at her, longingly. God, she was bloody beautiful. She was talking breathlessly to Amy Walsh, making frantic gestures with her hands. Then she threw her head back and laughed. James remembered hearing her laugh – sadly, not at him – but it had been a mesmeric laugh. Clear, tinkling and so impossibly addictive he could do nothing else but listen to it for hours on end. _Why_ did she have to be so frustratingly perfect? It would have been easier to convince himself he hated her if she was a heinous bitch. But despite his best efforts to tell himself she wasn’t worth the trouble, James knew she was.  
  
“ _Why_ won’t she go out with me?” He moaned, slumping his shoulders.  
  
Sirius shrugged. “Dunno, maybe she thinks you’re an arrogant git?”  
  
James shot him a glower.   
  
“Simply enlightening the situation for you, mate.” Sirius said, cheerfully.  
  
“Prongs, remember what she said last year?” Remus asked, with a sigh. “’I’ll go out with you when Sirius matures’?”  
  
“I _am_ mature!”  
  
“So – all I have to do is get Sirius to grow up?” James said, hopefully.  
  
“I _am_ grown up!”  
  
Remus ignored Sirius. “No, Prongs, _you_ need to grow up.”  
  
“Cheers, Moony.” James responded, sarkily. He sneaked another look at Lily. Her cheeks were tinged pink and she was nibbling her lip. James knew she only did that when she was embarrassed or nervous. Her other friend, Scarlet Greene was speaking to Lily’s bowed head with raised eyebrows, a look similar to the one Sirius had when he found out James had signed up for extra History of Magic tuition in the library simply for a reason to be near Lily.  
  
 _I wonder what they’re talking about_. James thought, wistfully.  
  
Come to think of it, he wasn’t even really sure _when_ this mess had began. It had started off a 10 galleon bet, a challenge. _No one_ turned down James Potter. He hadn’t even thought there may be another reason for chasing her until Remus had taken him aside in 4th year and asked him what the hell his problem was. And now James was in a very problematic state of affairs. He was in love with a girl who hated his guts. Not exactly the easiest of situations.  
  
 _Real clever, James._ He thought, sarcasm echoing in his head. _Fall for the one who wants you dead, why don’t you.  
  
_  “Seriously, James, you use the same cheesy pick up lines –”  
  
“Girls love ‘em!” Sirius vouched in James’ defence.  
  
“—you publicly humiliate her –”  
  
“How is amplifying his voice and declaring his undying love in front of the entire Hogwarts population _humiliating_ her?”  
  
“—you hex Snape in front of her when she’s repeatedly asked you not to –”  
  
“Okay, Snivelly _deserves_ that.”  
  
“—and you keep thinking she’ll fall into your arms!” Remus finished, shaking his head. “Well, it’s never gonna happen, not unless you change.”  
  
“I _have_ changed!” James insisted.  
  
“Not enough.” Remus replied, exasperated.  
  
“So what can I do?” James asked, equally frustrated.  
  
Remus shook his head. “That one’s for you, Prongs. I can’t do everything. Oh, and being around Sirius – let’s say it’s not helping you grow up.”  
  
“Oy! Am I invisible here or what?”  
  
James sighed. “I suppose.”  
  
Sirius gave a fake sob and blew his nose. “My heart bleeds for poor ickle Prongsie. His Lily dear keeps turning him down, poor lad!”  
  
“Shut up.” James grabbed him in a headlock and promptly messed up his perfect curls.  
  
“Oh, you are _dead_!” Sirius ran after him and James stuck his tongue out as he ran backwards, grinning.  
  
CRASH!  
  
“Ow! SHIT!”  
  
“Get _off_ me!”  
  
 “You – ok – mate?” Sirius asked, in between mad roars of laughter.  
  
James looked to see who had suffered the fateful cost of his bluster and was met with a pair of flashing, green eyes.  
  
“Oh sorry Lily.” He grinned, offering her a hand. She didn’t take it.  
  
“Well, if it isn’t the idiot of idiots.” Lily smoothed out her skirt, speaking coldly. “Come to ask me out for the millionth time?”  
  
“No. But I suppose if you’re _that_ desperate –”  
  
“No!”  
  
James’ grin didn’t falter. If anything, it grew wider. “Aw come on Evans, you know you want to.”  
  
“No, Potter, I really don’t.” Lily glowered.  
  
“Ladies, ladies, it’s great to see you again!” Sirius slung an arm around Scarlet’s shoulder.  
  
“I wish I could say the same for you.” She shot back but made no move to remove his arm.  
  
“How were your summers?” Remus asked, shaking his head at Sirius.  
  
Amy shrugged. “Oh mine was a tad boring. But it _did_ spice up when my cousin fell in the lake and nearly drowned.”  
  
“Well aren’t you the epitome of lovely.” Sirius said, sarcastically.  
  
She shrugged again. “As opposed to being the epitome of stupid?”  
  
“I resent that.”  
  
“Whatever.” Amy’s blue eyes brightened. “Oh and Lily got asked out!”  
  
“Really?” Remus glanced at James, a worried frown crossing his face.  
  
“No need to sound so surprised.” Lily muttered, a rosy blush creeping to her cheeks. She was still chewing her lip.  
  
“Who?” James asked, venom lacing his tone.  
  
“Not that it’s any of your business, _Potter_ ,” Lily glared. “But it was a muggle guy who moved to my street.”  
  
“What did you say?” Sirius intervened.  
  
“I said I’d think about it.” Lily fiddled with the ends of her red hair. James resisted the urge to reach out and tangle his fingers in it.  
  
“Is he cute?” Scarlet asked.  
  
“Oh, _so_ cute!” Lily gushed, blushing again.  
  
“Cuter than _me_?” Sirius joked, with a laugh.  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Way, way cuter, Black.”  
  
Everyone burst into sniggers at the shocked look on Sirius’ face. “I am offended, Lilers!”  
  
“With a face like yours, I’m shocked.” Lily retorted. “And don’t call me Lilers.”  
  
“Lily flower?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Lily bean?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Lils?”  
  
“Black –”  
  
“ _You_ can call me Sweet Cheeks.” He winked.  
  
“I swear, I – _what_?” Lily stared at him.  
  
Sirius shrugged. “What? I also go by Honey Bun, Snuffles and Assface.”  
  
James clapped an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t forget Cocky Prat.”  
  
“Funny, I would have thought that one was yours.” Lily said, coolly, her mellow mood rapidly evaporating.  
  
“What’s that, Evans?” James grinned. “You think I’m really hot and you secretly fancy me? Ah thanks!”  
  
“Look, Potter, I don’t fancy you and never will so shut the hell up before I do something I _won’t_ regret.” Lily cried, balling her hands into fists. They hadn’t even got on the train yet and she was already fighting the urge to rip her hair out.  
  
“Wanna make out?”  
  
“Wanna die?”  
  
James opened his mouth but a murderous glare made him close it again. He forced himself to look away from her and Lily imitated him, returning to the world outside their petty arguments.  
  
“Why Snuffles?” Scarlet asked, shrugging Sirius’ arm off.  
  
Sirius froze, knowing he’d said too much. “Erm – er...I sniff a lot. Yep. _All_ day. I am cursed with sniffing. Uh huh.” He took a loud sniff to prove his point.  
  
Remus sighed, in exasperation.  
  
Scarlet shook her head, amused. “You come up with the weirdest crap, Sirius. And you still haven’t told us what this Padfoot thing is?”  
  
Sirius tapped her nose. “Ooh, nosy!”  
  
“Ass.” Scarlet swatted his hand away, but her fond tone illustrated she didn’t mean it.  
  
“Oh, Lily?” James said.  
  
“ _What_ , Potter?”  
  
“You wouldn’t happen to know who the Head Girl is, would you?” He asked.  
  
“Me.” She replied, shortly but unable to keep the pride out of her voice.  
  
Sirius whooped at this. “You realise what this means, don’t you?”  
  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “No parties, no sneaking out of Hogwarts and NO pranks, Black.” It was pointless to say this at the start of every term, as she knew perfectly well Sirius would break the rules despite her warnings. Forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter. But she said it anyway, for the sake of it.  
  
“Aw!” Sirius whined. “Evans!”  
  
“No!” Lily’s lips thinned in a manner reminiscent of McGonagall.  
  
“Well, congratulations.” James hid a chuckle. “The Head Boy’s a very lucky bloke.”  
  
Lily looked at him, frigidly. “I think that’s enough sucking up for now, don’t you think?”  
  
“Should we get our luggage on the train?” Amy said, upon seeing it was 10:45.  
  
 _Time flies when you’re with the biggest idiots in Hogwarts_ , she thought.  
  
“Need any help, ladies?” Sirius asked, hoisting his trunk onto his shoulders like it was a feather.  
  
Scarlet laughed. “I think we’ll manage.”  
  
“You sure?” Sirius teased.  
  
“We’re big girls, remember?” Scarlet retorted.  
  
“I wouldn’t want you to _hurt_ your pretty little self lifting those big, heavy trunks.” Sirius replied, with an alluring grin.  
  
“Well, when you put it like that –”  
  
“Oh stop chatting each other up and get on the frigging train!” Lily snapped.  
  
Scarlet raised an eyebrow. “Jeez, what crawled up _your_ ass and died?”  
  
“Nothing!” Lily took a deep breath to compose herself. “Come on, let’s find a compartment.”  
  
They boarded the train quickly, as it was now nearing 11:00. It was filled with animated chatter, yelling and giggling; after all, it could only be expected after a summer of being away. Young witches and wizards alike shoved and shouted, thrilled to be going back. All the compartments were full except one right at the other end, which only had a small 1st year in it. She had mousy brown hair, tied back in an unnaturally taut ponytail and wide, turquoise eyes which darted around anxiously. Her hands were clasped in her lap, fingers drumming against her palms.  
  
“You guys wanna sit with us?” Sirius asked.  
  
“Yeah, sure. You coming, Lily?” Scarlet looked back at her.  
  
Lily looked around. James was gone. Seeing the earnest look on her friend’s face, she relented. “Ok.”  
  
The girl looked alarmed at all the 7th years piling in and shrank back in her seat, as if to disappear into the walls of the compartment. Lily gave her a kind smile.  
  
“Hello there. What’s your name?”  
  
“L-Laura.” She stammered. “Laura Abbott.”  
  
“Are you with Sarah Abbott?” Amy asked.  
  
“Sh-she’s my sister.” Laura replied, looking nervously at her.  
  
Scarlet interjected. “You’ll like it here, Laura.”  
  
“But make sure you’re not in Slytherin.” Sirius cut in, with a dark look. “They’re a bad crowd. You’d probably end up scrubbing You Know Who’s shoes for a living.”  
  
“That will do, Black.” Lily said, sharply.  
  
“B-Black?” Laura responded, now looking downright terrified.  
  
Sirius let out a bark of laughter. “I suppose you’ve already heard of my family.”  
  
Laura nodded.  
  
“I’m nothing like them.” Sirius assured her. He grinned. “Apart from the odd killing, I’m perfectly sane!”  
  
She raised her eyebrows, as if to question that.  
  
“Joking!” Sirius added, hastily.  
  
“Sirius!” Scarlet elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
“Oof! You’re gonna _pay_ for that, you little witch!” He tickled her mercilessly.  
  
“ _Ahahahaha_ – stop – _ahahahahahahaha_ – it – _ahahahahaha_ – I swear I will – _ahahahahahaha_ – _kill_ you!”  
  
Laura looked rather startled, her lips parted in confusion at the spectacle before her.  
  
“Utterly bonkers, my dear.” Amy smiled, wryly.  
  
“Where’s Peter?” Remus interrupted, twigging onto the fact that their friend was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Sirius collapsed on the seat, still laughing. “Who? Oh, Wormtail. He’ll be around somewhere.”  
  
Remus frowned disapprovingly at Sirius’ lack of concern. “I’m gonna go look for him, ok?”  
  
“Sure, mate. If you pass the snacks, get us some chocolate frogs would you?” Sirius yelled after him. On second thought, he caught the door as it was closing and stuck his head out into the corridor. “Or Bertie Botts! But chocolate frogs if they’ve got any. And don’t forget the acid pops!”  
  
He withdrew his head and sighed dramatically. “Moony never has time for his good friend Padfoot anymore!”  
  
“Or _maybe_ he’s desperate to get away from ‘Padfoot’?” Lily suggested.  
  
Sirius gasped and mock fainted onto Scarlet’s lap. He looked up at her and grinned, all ‘woes’ forgotten. “My, my, Scarlet, I passed out with the shock of Lily bean’s scathing tongue, thank Merlin you, the love of my life, the passion of my manhood, the fire of my loins, were here to relieve me of this terrible self pity!”  
  
Scarlet’s upside down head cocked to one side, sceptically. “Since when did you start using such big words, Sirius?”  
  
Sirius gave another gasp, more theatrical than the last. “I am _shocked_ to my very core to hear such mean meanness inflicted on my poor ears!”  
  
“How heart melting.” Scarlet replied, in a bored monotone. “Get up, fatty.”  
  
“ _Well_! Isn’t that so meanly meanish to poor –”  
  
“We get it, Sirius!” Scarlet shoved him off her lap and he fell with a thump to the floor.  
  
All through this, Laura was looking increasingly unimpressed. Lily suppressed a chuckle at her bemused face.  
  
Sirius dusted himself off with as much dignity as it was possible after your ego had received several uncalled for blows and then shoved unceremoniously on the floor to mate with the dust mites.  
  
“I know where I’m not wanted!” He stalked to the other side of the compartment and sat beside Laura, who watched him closely. “You don’t think I’m stupid, do you kiddo?”  
  
She seemed to mull this over. “That’s...questionable.”  
  
This made Scarlet, Amy and Lily howl with laughter. Sirius looked more affronted than ever. “Did I just get dissed by a 1st year?”  
  
“Lily?” Amy stopped, as a thought struck her. “Shouldn’t you be in the Heads compartment?”  
  
“Oh Merlin, yes!” Lily got up hurriedly, all traces of mirth vanishing on the spot. “I’ll see you guys later, ok?”  
  
She ran down the corridor, hoping she wasn’t _too_ late, and she heard a voice from the Heads compartment. Probably the Head Boy speaking to the Prefects, she assumed.  
  
Lily turned the handle and stepped inside, breathlessly. “Sorry I’m late, I...was...”  
  
James raised an eyebrow. “No sweat, Lily. Take a seat.”  
  
Lily’s mouth hung open. “Hold on – _you’re_ Head Boy?”  
  
“Yep. That’s me.” James replied, with a sigh. “Take a seat, Lily.”  
  
“How can _you_ be Head Boy?” The words spilled out before Lily could stop them. She flushed, wincing at her fleeting slip of the control she so prided.  
  
James glared at her. He was getting sick of this. “Cheers, Evans. Get the hell over it and _sit down_.”  
  
Lily sat, stunned into silence. He was speaking, glancing around the room earnestly but all she could hear was a low hum. The sound of her colliding thoughts. Lily knew she shouldn’t be this shocked – or this _hurt_ – at his heated tone but it bothered her. At the end of the day, James losing his cool with Lily was almost unheard of; her daily dose of scathing remarks simply bounced off him. And she had never cared before. So why now?  
  
“Do you have anything to add, Evans?”  
  
She looked up. “Huh?”  
  
“Do you have anything to add?” James repeated, impatiently.  
  
“Uh – no.”  
  
“Good. Any questions?” James directed this towards the Prefects, studiously ignoring Lily.  
  
Elaine Jenning raised a hand.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Well – ahem...isn’t this gonna be a problem?” She asked, flushing a royal Gryffindor red, unworthy of a Ravenclaw.  
  
“What do you mean?” James replied, pleasantly.  
  
“You and Lily. I mean – everyone knows you don’t really – er – get _along_.” Elaine tittered, looking from James to Lily and back again.  
  
James sighed. “We’ll just have to do our best to keep the bickering...to a minimum.”  
  
Derek Angelo, a Slytherin, spoke. “I really don’t see _why_ the mudblood –”  
  
James interrupted him, with a frosty glare. “Thank you, Angelo; we don’t use such language here. So either shut up or get out!”  
  
He glowered.  
  
“Right, well if that’s all you may go.” James dismissed them with a wave of his hand.  
  
The Prefects crowded out, shooting curious stares at Lily. And she was left alone with James.  
  
Lily stared at the floor, nibbling her lip again. It was becoming a bit of a habit, particularly around James.  
  
“So...” James took a step towards her, his hands plunged deep in his pockets.  
  
“So.” She responded. James was surprised to see she wasn’t squaring up for a fight.  
  
“Oh, I got you a gift.” He blurted out in the uneasy silence, fishing in his bag for it. “Aha!” He presented her proudly with a bagful of chocolate chip cookies. “Got ‘em from this muggle shop called Greggs. It was brilliant! You see, they had these weird things; the people push buttons and a tray of money pops out and –”  
  
He stopped at Lily’s bemused look. “It was...just...good.”  
  
Lily stared, not knowing how to respond. “Erm – thanks, I guess.” She took the crumpled bag.  
  
“It’s not much but I know you like them.” James said, casually.  
  
“How do you know that?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.  
  
“Do you forget I spent ½ my _life_ stalking you?” James laughed, running a hand through his hair.  
  
“Ah. So you did.” Lily peered into the bag. “Well, er – thanks, Potter.”

“No problem, Lily. Oh and once you’re done, give the bag to Sirius. He likes to lick out the crumbs.” With a last grin, the door clicked shut and Lily was left alone with her thoughts and a bagful of cookies begging to be eaten.

 

_So? Good? Bad?_


End file.
